September 2010
1 post
fmylife:
Today, my doctor told me I had “abnormally large breasts.” This wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t a 20 year old man. FML
July 2010
1 post
4 tags
June 2010
1 post
May 2010
14 posts
5 tags
2 tags
3 tags
1 tag
March 2010
11 posts
fmylife:
Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it’d be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML
fmylife:
Today, I was listening to a client’s heartbeat with a stethoscope, when I noticed one of my hairs had fallen on her chest. I tried to brush it off, but it didn’t move, so I went to pick it up with my fingers. That’s when I found it it wasn’t my hair, it was hers… and it was still attached. FML
lmao
fmylife:
Today, my boyfriend decided that lunch with his guys was more important than spending time with me. This is the second year in a row that he has cancelled on me. How do I remember the date so well? It’s my birthday. FML
1 tag
2 tags
1 tag
February 2010
4 posts
fmylife:
Today, I applied and was accepted for a part-time network engineering position. Being contract work they asked me what I charge. I replied, “$12 an hour.” After a look of surprise they accepted me for the position and said, “Our last guy charged $200 an hour, you’re a bargain.” FML
January 2010
2 posts
December 2009
3 posts
October 2009
4 posts
WOW
fmylife:
Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, “Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it’s because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%.” FML
I laughed so hard at this part.
Gabe Foley: You think you can step into my 'hood, slinging game at my girl, drinkin' my boy's brew, and expect not to be scrappin' directly?
Carter Webb: What?
Gabe Foley: Are you deaf and stupid? I said...
Carter Webb: - Don't repeat all that. Please. I think the answer to your question depends on whether you have, like, a learning disability, or you're just an average moron.
Carter Webb: [after Gabe punches Carter] OK, above-average moron.
September 2009
33 posts
driving can mess with your nerves
(via anijan)
